4 years....

Four years ago tomorrow Daddy Bear and I married.  In those four years we have had two children, two homes, happiness, excitement, sadness, sickness and health.  If nothing else, it has been a wild ride and in honour of our anniversary, I thought I'd look back at the promises we made to each other before life took over.  Before nappies, lack of sleep and work commitments....when it was just the two of us against the world.... 

Adam, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the number of moments that take our breath away. 

Today I choose to spend the rest of my life sharing those moments with you. 

I promise to love you above all else,

to respect and appreciate you,

to care for and spoil you,

to be your friend,

to share the joys and the sorrows

and to remember to live in the moment with you. 

Adam, I choose to build my life with you and as we grow old together and continue to change with age,

there is one thing that will never change,

I will always keep falling in love with you.

                                                

Chelsea, I love you not only for what you are,

but for what I am when I am with you. 

I love you not only what you have made of yourself,

but for what you are making of me. 

Today, you have made me complete and I choose to spend the rest of my life with you. 

I promise to love you above all else,

to respect and appreciate you,

to care for and spoil you,

to be your friend,

to share the joys and the sorrows and to remember to live in the moment with you. 

Chelsea, I choose to build my life with you and as we grow old together and continue to change with age,

there is one thing that will never change,

I will always keep falling in love with you.

Life doesn't always need to be a romance novel, things aren't always perfect and life and love can be hard when we feel the pressures of parenting small children who demand a lot of attention.  For now, romance may be Daddy bear making me a cup of tea at the end of a long day, however, I know that all too quickly this time-poor baby phase will pass and Daddy Bear and I will embark on the next phase of our lives together....in the meantime we are working hard to keep a line of communication open (even when we may only get 5 minutes some days) so that when we do get to spend time together we actually know who each other is!

So, happy anniversary to the man whom I respect more than anything and love with all I have.  Everything good in life is better shared with you and everything hard is made easier just by having you by my side....and hey, who knows, maybe if both the kids cooperate for 15 minutes at the same time tonight you may just get time to have a cup of tea with me AND read this post?!?!

Kinder boy

Our journey with Mr. A to this point has been a lesson in perseverance, persistence, faith and unconditional love.  Mr. A came into this world knowing what he wants with the determination to get it.  For those who don't know him or our story, Mr. A was born after a marathon 69 hour labour (a story I will save for another time though!) and in hindsight, the challenges I faced during that labour were preparing me for the fortitude I would need to parent our beautiful son. 

Mr. A did not want to be a baby- he would scream A LOT with no real explanation.  He detested being in the car, the pram for more than a few minutes, did not like seeing new people (heaven forbid if they would actually look at him!) and did not like being in anyone elses arms except for a selected few that he would allow to hold him (and even then it was only for a short time before he would call for Mama Bear).  He barely slept, and even then, he would only do so for a very limited time.  Needless to say, I was exhausted and torn between honouring my needs and the needs of my little man who was struggling.  Somehow, with the help of Daddy Bear, my parents (who I'll refer to as Nanny and Poppy from now on), a baby sling, family, chiropractic, persistence and faith, we muddled through our first year and made it from baby to toddler whilst parenting our boy and listening to his needs as well as our own.

That's not to say that once we reached toddler hood things became easy.  Once Mr. A found his voice and some independence it became easier to understand his needs but parenting him is still challenging at times and mind blowingly awesome in others.  He is a sensitive soul who does not like to be out of him comfort zone and gets worried easily.  He is emotional and really "feels" things, but on the flip side he has a determination that I admire and respect- he is a leader not a follower and it has taken time, trial and error and compromise to find the best way to parent him.  My heart told me that whilst he protested loud about most things, deep down he was just as lost and frustrated as I was feeling.  I did what my heart told me to do- respond to his needs, love him, persist, be gentle and not expect him to do what he "should" (especially when it came to sleep!), buckle in tight and enjoy the ride!

So, after this long back story, you can imagine my gratitude, love and pride as I dressed my beautiful boy this week for his first day at prekinder.  Had you asked me a year ago that I would kiss Mr. A goodbye and leave him in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people for 2.5 hours, I would have laughed in your face- one of those real belly laughs where you could almost pee your pants.  But yesterday Mr. A went to his first prekinder session and was quite excited about it.  He wore a uniform, looked super cute, posed for photos and was rather vocal that Mama Bear and Baby G had to drop him off and not stay.  Needless to say, my heart overflowed with love and gratitude as my little man took another step and milestone in his stride and whilst he was a little nervous, showed a courage and strength that reminded me our hard work, persistence and love is all very worth it.

I am forever grateful for my sweet boy who continually teaches me that the best things come to those who wait, to trust my instincts and above all else, when in doubt love deeply, be patient, let go and just enjoy xxx 

So, this is me.....

I must say writing my first blog is a lot harder than I had imagined.  Considering that I have been talking about doing it for three years now you would think I would have even the slightest clue on where to start and what to talk about.  After much deliberation I have decided on this:

Hi, my name is Chelsea and I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and much much more.  I would love to say that I am the type of person who keeps a clean car....but I am not.  I love a good latte (oat latte at the moment- but we will get to that another time!), I am a sucker for a good eyebrow thread, love, love, love TV of all sorts (I do not discriminate), I am finally learning to trust my instincts, even if they may be a little left of centre and not understood by some and mostly, I am a happy (but very busy) mama bear to two of the most exceptional little people I am sure I will ever meet.  I am eternally grateful that my husband still rocks my socks and I am thankful that we are taking the journey of life together. 

I dream that one day we can have a garden that we can grow most of our vegetables in (operation veggie patch is planned to start soon!), that our new home will be finished and that all of our boxes will finally be unpacked but mostly, I would like to take the time to remember that I am a work in progress, not always perfect and that I need to be kind to myself a little more often.

You will soon learn that I respect and appreciate authenticity and find the truth both liberating and inspiring.  Sometimes life is beyond wonderful, sometimes it sucks hard and what I find to be courageous is the person who is not afraid to tell it like it is rather than telling the world life is wonderful all the time.  I try to be that person because I feel honesty is beautiful and I'd rather be imperfect and real than perfect and fake any day.

So, that's me.  Mama, wife, TV lover and still searching for my place in life.  Life is crazy busy, deliciously fun, testing and frustrating at times, blissfully messy and above all so imperfectly perfect.  There is not much more I can do than buckle in, enjoy the ride and live life to the full from the honey pot!